A/N: SebbyCiel rewrite is now combined with Grell's happy ending! Eh…I haven't done a single second of research for correct English mannerisms….blah blah OOC, you know the drill…..I hope it's better than the last one!

Some people have wished for death. Some have begged for life. Ciel, however, didn't care.

After he woke up on the floor, clothes torn, and the baby crying softly, he realized he just didn't care. His parents were dead, and solving their murder wouldn't give him any satisfaction; not for himself or for them. Loving Sebastian could give him nothing but heartache, but he couldn't bring himself to hate the demon. Heaven held no promise. Hell was his life, how much worse could it be after death?

He was done. Done with the contract, with the demon, with the Queen, after eighteen years, he was done. "Sebastian." He said, "This is an order: . . . give me an order." For what else could a puppet, an empty shell of a human, do?

The demon butler turned his attention away from his son. "Get up." He said to the earl, as if ashamed to serve such a being.

Ciel could find no reason to stand. But, as he ad so often proclaimed, humans had the unique ability to see situations from different perspectives. At that moment, lying as he was, it was the end. If he could just stand up, the young lord might just be able to see something worthwhile. Might…

And so he stood, staggered, and willed himself to look at the thing that had come from his body. Red eyes-like his father, black hair-like his father, black nails….like his father.

What part was to be human? Ciel furrowed his brow, mouth turning down in disgust. He loathed this creature.

"You cannot think I truly look like this" Sebastian chimed in, as if reading the young man's thoughts. "This form is a guise." He smirked, showing fang, "I suppose, even after all these years, after all we have been through, you have not seen me for me."

The demon, sensing the boys' hate, handed the infant over to its would-be mother. This was, in part, to see Ciel's reaction to the being he had created. Sebastian couldn't deny his demon nature to poke fun at humans—the quality that Ciel used to stand, Sebastian found amusing. It was nothing more than a justification for humans to feel more superior. To feel as if they were more than prey.

A single mewing gurgle was emitted from the flailing baby. It was enough for the last sane strand in Ciel's mind to snap. He wanted to strike out, throw the child to the ground and laugh at its face frozen in its sudden fearful death-killed by the one person it had been so close to for the majority of the past year. He envisioned grabbing the letter opener and plunging it deep into its heart; how the blood would warm Ciel's too cold of hands. He pictured ordering Sebastian to take its soul, smirking at the horrified expression on the fathers' face as his long since hunger had been satisfied.

But Ciel couldn't bring himself to do anything more than to stare down at those hell fire red eyes. If Sebastian was hiding his true form, then this child must look more human than demon.  Ciel was certain that was going to look human. Sebastian had already started the patchwork with 'Abigail Rogers' being the mother. It would not be too difficult for Ciel to carry on the lie-turned-truth about the marriage.

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Days turned to weeks, weeks to months, and months to years, and the child's growth and development was far beyond that of typical persons; unnaturally talented in music and showing a promising interest in economics, Roland—as he was named—began to restore Ciel's will to survive.
The wound that his soul had sustained fighting the strange love for the demon butler was beginning to mend. It would leave a scar, but the pureness that lay at the center of dark pain would regain its luster.

As so often happens in marriages that are forced, the Earl's spark of infatuation fell away. Again and again Ciel found himself thinking of Lady Elizabeth. If she had not married yet, it would be the perfect time to try and regain some of the proper social standings. It was time, too, that Ciel start a proper family. One of pure blooded human that would not be shunned by society, children that did not have to have their past built on a bed of lies.

Ciel summoned Lady Elizabeth and her mother. And after many 'polite' refusals, they agreed to come to attend an afternoon tea.  The courteous meeting lasted well into the evening, and finally ended with a gentle kiss between the cousins.

"I shall see you soon." The Earl said to his proper fiancé when the time came for her to depart. Upon her hand shown a diamond ring for the ages. Pure and clear, just as her soul.

                                                                   ****

The day came for Ciel to be fitted for his wedding garb. It was a nice spring day, and he was blessed with ease from asthma. With Sebastian in tow, Ciel Phantomhive headed out to the town.

He did keep his gaze to the pavement as he passed the crowds. He didn't want to stop and speak. The Phantomhive wedding was surely to be the talk of the town for the next half a year—if not longer, so why start all of the façade 'thank you for attending' now?

Lost to his thoughts, (as was to be expected in an attempt to end this story) he bumped head long into someone mingling in the mass of people.

"hm…sorry," the stranger muttered.

"…Grell Sutcliff…" Ciel said, finally looking up. The red coat and hair sent a sudden feeling of nostalgia rippling through him. His dear Aunt. She would have loved to meet Roland, to be there when he was born, and to hold him—play with him just as she had done when Ciel was a child.

The redhead turned, froze, and scoffed "Ciel Phantomhive," He felt hate and sorrow boil in his heart. "Ch—have you come here to kill more of me?" Grell's grip tightened on his scythe. He was beyond ready for the chance to avenge his lost children. If it wasn't for this boy…this boy…then…maybe…
Sebastian noted a change in Grell. No longer did he seem to be the overly annoying drama queen, but instead he had an air of someone that knew loss. It had a sobering effect.

The demon approved.

"…Come, Sebastian." Ciel said after a moment's pause. He had no reason to offer an explanation to the shinigami.

Ciel continued to strut down the street, the tailor's shop was near to them now. He did not look back, for looking back was as if to look into the past and see mistakes and horrors that one wished to forget. Ciel would never look back.

And so it was that he missed the deepened kiss between demon butler and red Shinigami. So it was that Ciel missed the quickly whispered promise of a second chance, a proper chance to conceive hybrid souls.

Ciel did not understand that to look back meant finding answers to questions long sought. He did not understand that by not looking back, his greatest chance at love had escaped him, and fallen into the arms of the waiting death god.